Who is Jesus?

As I was walking from the Co-op (campus book/memorabilia store) to the Tower, I was approached by four different people trying to hand me missionary stuff. Three of them were trying to give me a green, pocket-sized New Testament (plus Psalms and Proverbs) while the other one tried to hand me a track (why are they called "tracks"?) that was also a church advertisement. Two of the them were successful. This is my third pocket New Testament. If anybody wants it, message me somehow.

Anyway, this impersonal, semi-invasive way of "witnessing" got me thinking about the real deal. That's right, I don't consider the handing out of tracks to be the real deal. I'm not saying it's bad to hand out tracks or Bibles, but I think it's a bit delusional to expect to attract people to Christ that way. We know that the Word of God is never useless or ineffective [Isaiah 55:11]. So, someone is definitely benefitting from the hand-outs. But, if I wasn't in love with Jesus and someone handed me a Bible before I could think to politely refuse, I would view it as Christian propaganda and set it on an elevated flat surface in a place to which I didn't plan on returning.

I tend to be judgmental in my decision-making though, so I'm trying to be more open-minded and discerning. Then again, I'm only trying to be so because I'm in love with Jesus. He makes me want to be open to good things. So, again, I'm inclined to think that Bible pushing is an ineffective way of ministering to the lost. It is very effective at supplying church members with the Most Dangerous Book Ever Written though.

This train of thought made me think about how I would minister to someone who was genuinely open to the Word. If the Spirit led me, how would I convince someone else that Christ's way is better than the way of society or the world or whatever? Now, I tend to speak (or write, if you will) about ministering in the hypothetical sense because I suck at it. Seriously, I'm not good. If someone asked me to write about Christ, then I'd be totally comfortable. I love to write. I blog about my thoughts and feelings because it seems entirely natural to me. I even enjoy reading. Visual words speak to me. But, people don't ask for essays. Well, I do sometimes but people laugh. Most people prefer to dialogue. There's something wonderful about oral/audial communication that just speaks to us... Seriously, it's enjoyable to talk.

If people don't ask for essays, why am I writing this? I'm writing because it's what I do. And, the next time someone asks me something that relates, I'll have a good idea of what my response will be.

Back to the point: ministering. At the heart of every ministry, there must be one question. Ministries do things. Some ministries are simple and involve only conversations and righteous living. Some ministries are complicated and involve hundreds of people doing things for thousands of people. But, I don't classify an act as a ministry unless it results from the desire to answer one powerful question: Who is Jesus?

That's a tough question. It's tough because, if there's an adequate answer, it's long and not simple. I think the answer to the question reveals an incredible amount of information about the answerer. "Who is Jesus" exposes motives and desires and depth of understanding. In fact, as I'm sitting here writing this sentence and forming the rest of this blog post in my head, I'm wondering if I'm completely wrong about some things. Maybe "Who is Jesus" actually DOES get simpler with increased understanding... Even if it does, I am constantly limited by my own current level of understanding. So, I'll just write about who Jesus is to me and pray that someone's life is enriched somehow by reading it. Maybe the next time I write or speak about Him, I'll have a better answer.

Who is Jesus?

Jesus is my best friend. It's kind of strange in a worldly sort of sense to say so, but it is truth. My best friend has no singular body I can hug or tackle. I've thought about wrestling with Jesus a bit. Would He totally own me because He knows everything in the universe, or would He let me beat Him every time because He knows His worth comes from God, not winning? I guess I'll have to wait until I get to heaven to find out for sure. Anyway, Jesus is my best friend. He sticks with me through everything. If life is good, it's because my Lord has made it to be so; Jesus sticks with me and laughs at the silly ways I do things. If life is hard, it's because my Father is challenging me or allowing me to be challenged to continually live eternally; Jesus sticks with me and comforts me and reminds me that He's there even when it doesn't feel like it. Jesus sticks with me. He doesn't even leave when I go to sleep.

In my mind, I always see Jesus as a dark-skinned, homely, long haired guy who is a little taller than me. I frequently imagine Him sitting near a camp fire with His disciples and looking at me across the fire with a the reminiscent sort of half smile my mom is always making. When I know I'm in the wrong, I see Him shake His head, eyes filled with pity and regret, then He says, "Don't you remember what you're worth to Me"? When I'm victorious, He smiles and shares in the celebration. When I'm worried, He scoots over and we sit together in silence. Every so often, when I could do with the reminder, He says, "I'm still here, and I still love you."

Jesus is a master listener. He hears what I like and dislike and want and avoid and feel and think and laugh about. He listens when I ask for advice or guidance and has an awesome way of surprising me with His responses. I guess it's just the human in me, but I'm always in awe when my prayer is answered. It's sort of conflicting. I pray to a God who listens and answers, but I'm in shock when He does. Maybe it's just that His goodness is so much better than the good I imagine...

Have I not already said that? Jesus is good. He is shockingly good. Every day seems like it was made for me just so I could find out how good He is. I really don't even know how to begin to describe His goodness. It's just so pure. Jesus is the hope in me. Even when I suffer, when grades are stressing me out, when I've got a stomach virus, when I get a citation, when I'm rejected, I'm still filled with this hope that things will turn out good in the end. I'm absolutely certain that the hope doesn't come from me. But, it's there. It's there because Jesus is so mind-bogglingly good. It's ridiculous.

Jesus is accepting. My name is Curtis Hefner, and I have a problem. I'm lousy at living righteously. I'm selfish and obstinate and I laugh at things Christ wouldn't. Even when I'm trying my very best, my life is full of failure. The greatest offering I can give God is like soggy tampons [Isaiah 64:6]. Still, Jesus accepts me. Loves me even. He must be crazy about me. If He wasn't, He would've left by now. I'm awful at reciprocating. I ignore Him sometimes, then run back when I realize why my day is going so badly. He takes me back every single time. He never even jokes about not taking me back. He knows all the garbage that doesn't get published on this blog, and still He loves me. And, His love rules me.

Jesus is my salvation. He's the intermediary between God and me. He tells me I'm better than the idiotic things I do. He tells me to follow Him. His words rock me to the core. He calls out all of the passion I possess. He defines me. Every thing that I do is for the glory of His name, or it's worthless. He holds me together. He is the target, and I am the arrow. He is my life. And, without Him, I wouldn't be here today. The world is too hard. I'm too soft. I could never handle it alone. He makes it so that I don't have to.

I could sing His praises for ever and still miss things. Now's not the time for that though. Now, I'm simply going to live my life trying to find out more about who He is. It's really all I'm capable of anyway.

I'm going to screw up sometimes. Sometimes, the things I try will fail. Lucky for me, the God I serve is greater than my inadequacies. Even in my failed attempts, He will be glorified. And, THAT is the reason for the hope that is in me. [1 Peter 3:15]