7/20/09

I don't know who this is for, but I have this message pulsing around inside right now. It might not even be for right now. But, sometime, someone will read this and know that Christ cares. He cared enough to urge me to write. Sometimes the Spirit comes on me and gives me a message for another. I'm new at prophesy. These are not my words but, they are truth. So I write, His words through me.
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Have you forgotten that I am with you? I am with you. I am around you. I love you. This loneliness is not for you. No more. I love you. I came so you wouldn't have to keep feeling this way. You are so precious to Me. You are mine. You belong to Me. Don't you know I made you? I saw every part of you go into place. You are as you are because I made you that way. I don't make mistakes. You are no mistake. You are my love. You are on my mind constantly. Why do you feel forgotten? I love you.

Remember where you came from. Remember what I brought you through. I put you in this place. Trust me. Trust me, and see what I will do. You can't even imagine how wonderful it will be. Wait on me. Wait and see what I will do.

I am here. I am here when you feel alone and rejected and angry. I am here when you can't see the good. I am here loving you and waiting for you to rest in Me. I am here when the darkness seems unbearable and your hope is gone. I am here when there is nothing else. Let Me hold you.

I want what you are holding back. I want all of you. Everything. I can handle it. I want to handle it for you. Trust in me. I love you. Let Me show you how it can be. It won't be easy. But, it will be right. You know it will. You know, and yet you wait. Come to Me and let go. I will catch you and hold you. I love you. Do you not know?! Still, you wait. Come to Me. I love you so much. I loved you before you had breath. I loved you before you knew of Me. I loved you before everything was.

You wonder if I hear you. You wonder if I think of you? I think of you. I watch you and love you. You can't even imagine. You are special to me. You are like no one else. My love for you is unimaginable.

You feel you are weak. I will make you strong. I will be your strength. Reach for Me and I will touch you. Reach for me. I love you.

Don't forget this.
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If this hits you hard. Don't pass this over. It's for you.

While I was typing, I felt like I've never felt before. I can't even explain it save to say that it was awesome. Jesus is really crazy about you. And, I figure you weren't really expecting to get this here. But, that's just His way.

7/17/09

Rethinking Worship

This summer, I've been attending a Baptist church (FBCSA). It has been an interesting experience. I've got to admit that I don't necessarily agree with the things they don't do. So far, I've had no problem with the things they are doing or saying. But, some things are a bit strange to me. For instance, they don't clap their hands after a worship song. I grew up in a pretty charismatic, bordering-on-pentecostal church where we clapped after every song. "Clap your hands all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy" [Psalm 47:1]. That was the way I learned to worship - expressively, freely, loudly. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom [2 Corinthians 3:17]. So, I learned to worship in a freedom that only comes when you can sense the Holy Spirit living in yourself and those around you. This Baptist church doesn't worship like that. Initially, I saw that as a bad thing.

I've got to admit that I sometimes suffer from "Doctrinal Brick Wall Syndrome". Sometimes, without even realizing that I'm doing it, I think of others as being "less Christian" than I am. That's just the wrong way of thinking. I know that. The disciples asked Jesus who would be greatest, then he drops a philosophical bomb by claiming that the first shall be last and the last, first [Matt 19:30]. It turns out that loving God is more of a relationship thing than a status thing... Go figure, right? Anyway, sometimes I think that my beliefs MUST be correct and everyone else is just less Christian than I am. I remembered how foolish that thinking was during choir practice last Wednesday (I'm in the church choir).

The choir director was explaining how important it is to be singing the song, not just the words. Rather, the words of the song are nice and all, but worship is all about intention. We really mean those beautiful words we sing about "How Sweet The Name of Jesus Is" or whatever. But, if we aren't being musical about our singing, really perceiving the whole picture and striving to give shape to those reverential values we feel, then we aren't worshipping.

Now, I didn't expect to have a eureka moment, but I guess no one ever expects to have them. Still, I had a eureka moment. I realized how small my "worship box" was. It's ridiculous to think that there is somehow a correct way to worship God. That's preposterous. Worship is expressing in some way the abstract concepts of love, adoration, respect, etc. There are most definitely many incorrect ways to worship, ways that are simply wrong. However, there's no one correct way that trumps the others. Worship is about expression.

The Baptists at the church were worshipping differently than what I was used to. But, I realized that I needed to change, not the worship. I've become comfortable with expressing how passionate God makes me feel by singing my lungs out and raising my hands and clapping and crying for joy. Until now though, I had never really expressed the reverent, quieting sense of awe that is so frequently expressed in this Baptist church. My worship has grown.

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I've always wondered why it is that parents are so proud of the atrocious, unimpressive performances their children are always doing in school or church or little league or whatever. I mean, kids are usually pretty awful at performing things. I don't subject myself to watching preschoolers sing "This Little Light of Mine" or something similar unless I know one of the preschoolers who is singing. However, I do enjoy hearing The Vocal Majority or some other organized, professional group sing "This Little Light of Mine" or anything really. What's the difference? If it's fair to assume (and I think it is) that the men in "The Vocal Majority" were once preschoolers singing "This Little Light of Mine", then the most obvious difference is time. Preschoolers become grade schoolers, high schoolers, collegiate ers[?], professionals. Musical comprehension and understanding grows with time. And, since my life span will likely be around 80 years, those 30-60 year olds seem pretty awesome. What does God think?

God has always existed. So, if you imagine the largest number of years possible, then multiply it by 10 million, God is still older than that. Think about this: God created our ability to conceive sequences of sounds as being musical. God invented music. All of it. Music? Yeah, it was His idea. He knows what perfect music is like, if there is such a thing. So, if the thing that makes performances greater is an increased understanding that only comes with time, then our very best music must sound like banging rocks together or something. Come to think of it, maybe that's why Jesus said that if we fail to praise God, the rocks will cry out [Luke 19:40]. Maybe it would all sound the same anyway.

"All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment." [Isaiah 64:6] Filthy garment is originally "ukabeged ehdim" which translates more literally into "rags of menstruation" or, more modernly, "soggy tampons". I think soggy tampons are among the grossest things ever, and I can't help but think Isaiah giggled when he wrote that. Anyway, this seems to agree with my theory of worship improving in time. Since God has been around infinitely longer than we have, we could never impress him with our worship. It would all just sound like soggy tampons splattering or something... (Great mental picture isn't it?)

Love makes it good, though. It's true; parents love their kids, so they delight in their less-than-impressive performances. I think the same goes for God and our worship. Psalm 69:30-31 says that God takes joy in being praised by His people. And, we are only His people because He first loved, and continues to love us.

So, since we are all His children, I figure God watches the professional-looking, organized adult choir and sees a bunch of preschoolers that he loves. And that is why there's no "correct" way to worship.