Who is Jesus?

As I was walking from the Co-op (campus book/memorabilia store) to the Tower, I was approached by four different people trying to hand me missionary stuff. Three of them were trying to give me a green, pocket-sized New Testament (plus Psalms and Proverbs) while the other one tried to hand me a track (why are they called "tracks"?) that was also a church advertisement. Two of the them were successful. This is my third pocket New Testament. If anybody wants it, message me somehow.

Anyway, this impersonal, semi-invasive way of "witnessing" got me thinking about the real deal. That's right, I don't consider the handing out of tracks to be the real deal. I'm not saying it's bad to hand out tracks or Bibles, but I think it's a bit delusional to expect to attract people to Christ that way. We know that the Word of God is never useless or ineffective [Isaiah 55:11]. So, someone is definitely benefitting from the hand-outs. But, if I wasn't in love with Jesus and someone handed me a Bible before I could think to politely refuse, I would view it as Christian propaganda and set it on an elevated flat surface in a place to which I didn't plan on returning.

I tend to be judgmental in my decision-making though, so I'm trying to be more open-minded and discerning. Then again, I'm only trying to be so because I'm in love with Jesus. He makes me want to be open to good things. So, again, I'm inclined to think that Bible pushing is an ineffective way of ministering to the lost. It is very effective at supplying church members with the Most Dangerous Book Ever Written though.

This train of thought made me think about how I would minister to someone who was genuinely open to the Word. If the Spirit led me, how would I convince someone else that Christ's way is better than the way of society or the world or whatever? Now, I tend to speak (or write, if you will) about ministering in the hypothetical sense because I suck at it. Seriously, I'm not good. If someone asked me to write about Christ, then I'd be totally comfortable. I love to write. I blog about my thoughts and feelings because it seems entirely natural to me. I even enjoy reading. Visual words speak to me. But, people don't ask for essays. Well, I do sometimes but people laugh. Most people prefer to dialogue. There's something wonderful about oral/audial communication that just speaks to us... Seriously, it's enjoyable to talk.

If people don't ask for essays, why am I writing this? I'm writing because it's what I do. And, the next time someone asks me something that relates, I'll have a good idea of what my response will be.

Back to the point: ministering. At the heart of every ministry, there must be one question. Ministries do things. Some ministries are simple and involve only conversations and righteous living. Some ministries are complicated and involve hundreds of people doing things for thousands of people. But, I don't classify an act as a ministry unless it results from the desire to answer one powerful question: Who is Jesus?

That's a tough question. It's tough because, if there's an adequate answer, it's long and not simple. I think the answer to the question reveals an incredible amount of information about the answerer. "Who is Jesus" exposes motives and desires and depth of understanding. In fact, as I'm sitting here writing this sentence and forming the rest of this blog post in my head, I'm wondering if I'm completely wrong about some things. Maybe "Who is Jesus" actually DOES get simpler with increased understanding... Even if it does, I am constantly limited by my own current level of understanding. So, I'll just write about who Jesus is to me and pray that someone's life is enriched somehow by reading it. Maybe the next time I write or speak about Him, I'll have a better answer.

Who is Jesus?

Jesus is my best friend. It's kind of strange in a worldly sort of sense to say so, but it is truth. My best friend has no singular body I can hug or tackle. I've thought about wrestling with Jesus a bit. Would He totally own me because He knows everything in the universe, or would He let me beat Him every time because He knows His worth comes from God, not winning? I guess I'll have to wait until I get to heaven to find out for sure. Anyway, Jesus is my best friend. He sticks with me through everything. If life is good, it's because my Lord has made it to be so; Jesus sticks with me and laughs at the silly ways I do things. If life is hard, it's because my Father is challenging me or allowing me to be challenged to continually live eternally; Jesus sticks with me and comforts me and reminds me that He's there even when it doesn't feel like it. Jesus sticks with me. He doesn't even leave when I go to sleep.

In my mind, I always see Jesus as a dark-skinned, homely, long haired guy who is a little taller than me. I frequently imagine Him sitting near a camp fire with His disciples and looking at me across the fire with a the reminiscent sort of half smile my mom is always making. When I know I'm in the wrong, I see Him shake His head, eyes filled with pity and regret, then He says, "Don't you remember what you're worth to Me"? When I'm victorious, He smiles and shares in the celebration. When I'm worried, He scoots over and we sit together in silence. Every so often, when I could do with the reminder, He says, "I'm still here, and I still love you."

Jesus is a master listener. He hears what I like and dislike and want and avoid and feel and think and laugh about. He listens when I ask for advice or guidance and has an awesome way of surprising me with His responses. I guess it's just the human in me, but I'm always in awe when my prayer is answered. It's sort of conflicting. I pray to a God who listens and answers, but I'm in shock when He does. Maybe it's just that His goodness is so much better than the good I imagine...

Have I not already said that? Jesus is good. He is shockingly good. Every day seems like it was made for me just so I could find out how good He is. I really don't even know how to begin to describe His goodness. It's just so pure. Jesus is the hope in me. Even when I suffer, when grades are stressing me out, when I've got a stomach virus, when I get a citation, when I'm rejected, I'm still filled with this hope that things will turn out good in the end. I'm absolutely certain that the hope doesn't come from me. But, it's there. It's there because Jesus is so mind-bogglingly good. It's ridiculous.

Jesus is accepting. My name is Curtis Hefner, and I have a problem. I'm lousy at living righteously. I'm selfish and obstinate and I laugh at things Christ wouldn't. Even when I'm trying my very best, my life is full of failure. The greatest offering I can give God is like soggy tampons [Isaiah 64:6]. Still, Jesus accepts me. Loves me even. He must be crazy about me. If He wasn't, He would've left by now. I'm awful at reciprocating. I ignore Him sometimes, then run back when I realize why my day is going so badly. He takes me back every single time. He never even jokes about not taking me back. He knows all the garbage that doesn't get published on this blog, and still He loves me. And, His love rules me.

Jesus is my salvation. He's the intermediary between God and me. He tells me I'm better than the idiotic things I do. He tells me to follow Him. His words rock me to the core. He calls out all of the passion I possess. He defines me. Every thing that I do is for the glory of His name, or it's worthless. He holds me together. He is the target, and I am the arrow. He is my life. And, without Him, I wouldn't be here today. The world is too hard. I'm too soft. I could never handle it alone. He makes it so that I don't have to.

I could sing His praises for ever and still miss things. Now's not the time for that though. Now, I'm simply going to live my life trying to find out more about who He is. It's really all I'm capable of anyway.

I'm going to screw up sometimes. Sometimes, the things I try will fail. Lucky for me, the God I serve is greater than my inadequacies. Even in my failed attempts, He will be glorified. And, THAT is the reason for the hope that is in me. [1 Peter 3:15]

What is it in us that pleas for justice? What is it that jumps and screams and stands in awe of sacrifice? Why is it beautiful? How should we even know that it is in the first place? What is it inside of us that defies tyranny and rejoices in redemption?

I am convinced that it is that God-given, mysterious fire we call love.

Love leaps at justice done anywhere. Though it is of no consequence to the observer but the simple knowledge of what has been done; though there is pain engrained in justice, for justice is deliverance; though it is no about glory or grace or form, it is beautiful.

It is beautiful because it is what we yearn for beneath our reason and method. It is beautiful because it frees the known and the unknown. It is beautiful because it should be.

Justice occurs when something, which should have happened already, finally does. And, its happening stirs us. It calls to our closest selves and shouts and cries and laughs. Its happening renews our faith and brightens the dark places.

In its true, pure form, justice has been, is, and will always be a result of selfless love. Justice is just a tiny glimpse of the world as it could be, should be, will be. Justice is just the smallest inkling of the goodness of God.

Justice cannot be served, though it results from service. Justice cannot be bought or sold or traded. It is always given. Justice is neither rebuke nor revenge, but redemption.

Justice is not the spoil of war, but the reward of peace. It is not that the killers have been slain, but that the innocent have not. It is protection and preservation of what is good.

It is grace... grace which cannot be purchased with the blood of a thousand bullets, cannot be taken by the stares of a thousand troops. It is grace which can only be given by Grace Himself.

Some may trust in horses. Some may trust in chariots. But, we will trust in the name of the Lord our God. [Psalm 20:7]

Living Eternally

I think it rather odd how I am affected by small things. I usually don't even realize just how affected I've been until much later when I'm able to look back.

"A Christian is someone who always does their best." - (I have no idea)

I've tried and tried, but I can't seem to remember where it was I heard that. But, hearing it left an impression on me years ago. Granted, there's a lot more to being a Christian than merely trying your best. But the idea has a beautiful sort of simplicity to it, doesn't it?

The term "Christian" is first coined in the Acts [11:26] which is all about the early church and their new Way of living. And, the early church had it ROUGH. They were being hunted and persecuted and executed and spat upon. To follow Christ in the days of the early church, you had to constantly do your best. Do your best to live righteously, act mercifully, think strategically, speak boldly, proceed cautiously, die valiantly. In the time immediately after Christ's resurrection and ascension, it was unpopular to be a Christian (to say the least). Unfortunately for the church and everyone who watches us, that fact has changed.

No longer is there such an intense dichotomy between the church and everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I do NOT want anyone to be killed for entertainment purposes because of a desire to serve Jesus Christ. However, if that sort of overwhelming pressure existed today, you can bet people would take their faith much more seriously. Instead, Jesus' name has been turned into a kind of brand name or platform. Time and time again, I've seen self-proclaiming Christians speak out in anger against political figures or causes or programs. I've watched award shows in which the musician, whose "parental advisory" toting album has just gone platinum, first thanks God for the success. I've lost track of how many foul-mouthed sports stars have paid homage to God during their victory dances.

It makes me wonder what sort of God we've been portraying. That the American public would find it fitting to credit this portrayal of God with such worldly concerns... it concerns me.

It is our job as the church to show each other and everyone else who our Lord is. And, I can't help but think that we've been miserably failing at it. And, if we're failing, it can only be for lack of trying. Isaiah [55:11] says that God's word does not return void but instead accomplishes the purpose God intends it for. So, if we speak the word of God into the lives of those around us, we can't help but further extend the reach of the kingdom of heaven. If we speak the word of God into the lives of those around us, we can't fail. If we try our best, we can't fail.

As a whole, we've been failing.

For me, the problem comes from a selfish desire to preserve the level of comfort of my social standing, even among my Christian brothers and sisters. While it may be acceptable in nearly all circles to claim a relational attachment to Christ, speaking the truthful candor of His words is regarded almost universally as uncouth. God's Word cuts to the quick of the spirit. Very few react positively to even the most gracious reproach. What's more, I've never considered myself particularly gracious... That tends to take the courage right out of me. I want to cling to my comfort zone. But then I reread Paul's writings.

In Colossians [3:16-17], Paul urges Christians to

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (NIV)

Those are some lofty instructions from where I'm sitting. But, they really shouldn't be. Maybe it's because I grew up in a charismatic church, but I have trouble admonishing even my closest Christian peers. Then again, Paul never says, "teach and admonish... unless you're too intimidated". He urges us to have gusto. And, it makes sense. If I do my best, my actions will be bold simply because I am capable of boldness.

So, it's our job as Christians to call each other to live with higher standards. But, there's more. We are to do and say everything in the name of Jesus, living in a constant state of thanksgiving. In a nutshell, that's worship. Paul is telling us to do everything as an act of worship... Everything. That's big. If you're going to do everything as an act of worship, you'll have to always do your best. Think about it: if you're not doing your best, could you really call your action worship? Worship is a means of expressing those abstract attributes that describe a relationship with God: love, adoration, respect, reverence, joy, humility, meekness, boldness, passion, service. And, since we serve the Most High, the Almighty God, how could we offer anything less than our best?

This school year, I'll be striving to reclaim the name of Jesus for the glory of God, not the touting of success or bashing of corporate policies. I think everyone should be striving to do the same. We need to inject the passion of our best into the idea of Christianity. We've been apathetic for too long. I've been apathetic for too long...

I'm calling out myself and all of my Christian brothers and sisters. It's time we really started living out our best, always being thankful in the realization that we are limited in our time on this earth. It's time we started living eternally, differentiating ourselves from everyone else lacking in the strength and motivation and joy that comes from a full life with Christ. After all, we are the salt of the earth [Matthew 5:13].